Don’t Marry a Girl Who Won’t Give You Her Last Chip

Dear Kaleb and Kaden,

By the time you are able to read this letter you will probably wonder just what in the world I was talking about.  Well, from the time  your first set of teeth cut your gums and grew, you two love food…especially SNACKS.  Any snacks your father and I had, both of you were front and center with big eyes and smiles repeatedly saying “please.. please…chips please…chips please”.  Well at least you two had manners at an early age.  With manners like that, who could tell you two no?  Well for one, your father couldn’t say no.  Every time he sat down with his favorite bag of Lays Honey BBQ chips, you guys were there. During basketball games, football games, and even WWE Smackdown I could always find the three of you on the couch eating chips.  One thing I have always noticed is that when it came down to the last few chips in the bag, your father always gave them to you two.  I know that time you were too young to realize the significance in this small yet grand gesture and perhaps still you may not even get the lesson that your dad was teaching you.  The lesson is this sons:

When you truly love someone, you give up the last chip

The lesson isn’t about chips, but more about character and finding a woman of the same quality in attribute to match you.  You see sons, one day you will fall in love. You will find that special woman in your life that you will want to settle down and spend the rest of your life with.  This woman will be the mother of my future grandchildren.  I know the day that this happens, your father and I will be so proud, but I do say this is that if she doesn’t give up the last chip, DON’T MARRY HER!  Giving up the last chip, unbeknownst to her, demonstrates her character, but also sets the tone by which your marriage will operate.  Love , Selflessness, Sacrifice, and Character are the qualities that shine in light of giving up something so simple as chips.

Love, selflessness, sacrifice, and character are what I believe are the most important qualities that a couple can have in a marriage to stand the test of time.  You will hear us constantly say, treat others how you want them to treat you.  This is important because this action is a reflection of yourself.  Finding a woman who is willing  in giving up something so small as chips, or juice, or even in preparing meals and putting others before herself is a woman who is not only showing likeness to you and the actions you have demonstrated, but is manifesting God’s love.  This is what you want in a woman of God and great character.  I tell you because while you will hear people say marriage is give and take and 50-50.  This is simply untrue.  Marriage is give and give, and give some more, and give even more after that.  Sometimes it won’t be 50-50 (at times it can be, but very rare), it’s going to be 80-20 with you up at 80 and it may also be 95-5 with you on the 5 percent. This is totally okay.  It happens, but having the attributes of a give, of someone who is selfless show a great deal of love.  Love is truly all you need in a marriage as it is the greatest gift we have been given and when you truly love someone, all else falls into place.  You have someone who not only is your support system, but because of the love you share, it will make the hard times (and yes there will be challenging times ahead) a bit easier to get through.

Growing up it was fun to eat daddy’s chips, and sometimes daddy wouldn’t even get to eat as much as he would have liked to because of you two little ones, but he didn’t mind.  He was glad to do it because it made you guys happy.  Your father constantly sacrificed, not just for you two, but for me as well and I the same for him.  For me (and your father as well) there was no question about giving thing s up for your father or giving him my last because without skipping a heartbeat, I know he would do the same.  In the most simplistic way, your father demonstrated God’s love and what it means to give.  As you grow older and grow into the great men that God calls you to be, I pray that you both find women who are of the same purpose.  I pray you are blessed with women that reflects the love and willingness to give and sacrifice.  Sons when you find these women and bring them home to introduce them to me and your father, I will ask you if these two women have given up the last chip and if the answer is yes, then I will only have one other question to ask…When’s the wedding?

Love,

Mom