What My Dad Got Right About Boys and Life

Originally Posted on I AM THAT GIRL I wanted to share the best advice I ever got from my dad at 10 years old.  I always told myself that if I ever have a daughter, I too would pass on these words of wisdom.

 

I am a self-proclaimed daddy’s girl.  Not to say that I am not close with my mother, I just have been and always will be a daddy’s girl.  Ever since I can I remember, I was always with him.  We’d go to the park, we would go to the movies, the arcade, and one of my favorite spots; 7-11 for a slurpee.  It was during these moments that my father would impart words of wisdom  and although at 10 years old I had no idea what he meant, little did I know that it was advice that I still use today.  “Boys are like going to the doctor’s office.  There are some that will help you and take care of you and the rest just want to stick you and hurt you.”  You can imagine my face as he said these words to me.  What was he talking about?  I don’t like boys and definitely don’t like getting stuck with a needle.  I didn’t get it.  I just didn’t get it.

Fast forward about 12 years, I was 22 years old.  I had my first real job out of college and I had a good boyfriend (or so I thought).  Out of no where my boyfriend broke up with me and broke my heart for the very first time.   Here I was, crying all the time, sad all the time, and hurting all the time.  It was at this moment that my father’s saying cam e rushing back to me. “Boys are like going to the doctor’s office.”  It suddenly dawned on me what my father was trying to tell me that day over slurpees.  Boys will definitely become a part of my life as I would grow into a young woman.  They will be those men who  wouldn’t have my best interest at heart; who will be selfish and only think of themselves (thus the sticking and hurting).  Like a shot at the doctor’s office, in that moment it is truly painful and it is something that I would never want to experience again.

Unfortunately I did experience the same feeling again, but it ha nothing to do with a guy.  I was laid off from my first job as a college graduate due to budget cuts.  That same heartache and sadness of when my boyfriend broke up with me, here I was feeling it again.  I truly loved my job and now I was being told that I couldn’t continue to do what I love.  For some odd reason, the same saying came back to me: “Boys are like going to the doctor’s office”.  It took me some time to understand.  I did not see how this saying applied to my life or my current situation.  I lost a job, not another boyfriend.  Granted I was still wounded from the break up , but add the fact that I no longer had a job…what did that have to with anything? As fast as lightning strikes the ground, it suddenly dawned on me the message my father was trying to teach me.

Like getting shots at the doctor’s office, the pain is temporary.  The same can be said for a broken heart.  While I did feel the pain of my first break up, it was only temporary.  The same can be said for the job I was laid off from.  Yes it hurt, but this too would not last. What I believe with all my heart what my father was trying to say is that in life, there will be upsets and disappointments.  They will be painful and sometimes they will make you cry. The beauty however, in all of this is that not only is the pain is short lived, but you will be stronger because of it.

It took me 10 years to get this message and it is a message that I still apply to  my life today.  I still am faced with challenges, and upsets, but I keep going, I keep pushing forward.  I do so because of my father.  No matter what you are going through.  no matter how bad things may seem, it is only temporary. You are smart, you are strong, you are beautiful.  YOU ARE THAT GIRL.

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