Being Single: The Chicken Leg Theory



There may come a time in your life as grown men that you will definitely be single.  For some the single life can be something that is exciting, adventurous, and full of limitless opportunities.  For others, being single is a curse or rather just what they feel is what they will be because there are no good people left. If there were any good single people left, then they wouldn’t be.  A good friend of mine said it best:

Being single is like being at a table of hungry people all trying to get a bite of the same chicken leg. I don’t want to eat from a chicken leg that already has bites in it.”

I think this analogy is definitely one that speaks volumes due to its diverse interpretations.  My interpretation is yet one that perhaps many don’t think about if they were to read such a quote.  You see sons, honestly, everyone has some sort of “bite marks” or baggage that may deem  them “damaged goods” or “undesirable” because they don’t meet a specific criteria that we have contrived  for selfish purposes or worse…criteria that doesn’t even exist.  I was one of those people who during my days of “singledom” made one of those absurd lists.  I even placed this list under my pillow at night and prayed that I would meet someone with my list. Long story short, I got what I prayed for, and with that, I developed my own bite marks. In the end, I realized that God  has a sense of humor and sometimes gives us what we ask for just to show us what we do not need. But now that He revealed my bite marks was I now one of those who was damaged? Was I that chicken leg with bite mark that perhaps that one special person would rather go hungry?

Well for a while I did feel that way.  I felt I was now damaged goods, because of how I perceived all men to be; because of one bad relationship.  I perceived all men to be inconsiderate, insensitive, self-serving, and self-righteous.  I carried these notions with each guy I talked to or dated and because of my “wounds”, I took it out on the next guy which was not fair and when that relationship did not work out, so another bite mark was added.

It wasn’t until I had a conversation with a friend of mine about how there weren’t any good men around. (Yes, you read right.I had become one of those single people). In our discussion, I couldn’t help but wonder if I was being a hypocrite. The answer to that is yes. I was being a hypocrite.  Here I am questioning the whereabouts good men because I was only encountering guys with their issues, and yet I have my own.  I know that I am a good woman, sure I have some things to work out, but I am a damn good woman.

It made me question the way we all have been somewhat brainwashed to find someone who is absolutely perfect, someone who isn’t flawed, yet were we not flawed ourselves for such a thing?  Truth of the matter is that being single is not a death sentence.  You don’t have to starve because you don’t want someone who has all these bite marks. Now by no means am I saying that you shouldn’t have standards and by no means should you settle.  Albeit  the number of singles at time can be slim to none, it is impossible to find one free from mark.   I guess the point I’m trying to say is no matter who you choose to date, and who you decide to spend the rest of your life with, there will be some bite marks you may have to heal. It may require a lot more attention and care, but well worth it.

As you get older, you will discover that to truly love someone is to love them beyond their faults; to love them beyond their flaws; beyond their bite marks.  Regardless of the bite mark, chicken still taste very good!

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